"Baby, put your hands on me…"
(Shane and Carmen forever. <3)
…but with you, Regina, I always know when you’re lying.
That’s fucking cruel
This isn’t fucking funny. My mom has been a waitress almost all of my life and for most of it we lived off of scraps. She worked hard every damn day being paid less than minimum wage to help raise us four kids. All of our meals, all of our clothing, all of our school books, our fucking rent was always paid by tips. Some weeks were better than others but we learned how to make our dimes stretch and now she is doing better, with a manager position where things are more stable for her.
Bakc to the point, don’t any of you ever, EVER FUCKING DO THIS. SPREADING THE WORD OF YOUR RELIGION IS FINE AND DANDY BUT DON’T TO IT AT THE COST OF A SINGLE MOTHER NOT BEING ABLE TO FEED HERSELF SO HER KIDS CAN HAVE A PLACE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
When Christians act like little fucks
this made me so fucking angry, because i feel like i know people who would do that.
fUCK this makes me angry. fuck.
if it’s modern, I want a fantasy au
if it’s fantasy, I want a modern au
*Once Upon a Time fandom cackles*
if it’s Once Upon a Time, I want a whole new show
Junot Díaz, This Is How You Lose Her
Lesbian Jewish-Hindu Wedding
This is both gorgeous and adorable.
The caption delights me.
The level of cuteness in this needs to stop.
I like the modern and traditional dresses together, that’s so cool!
When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:
"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”
And the most frequent response of all:
"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”
The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”
These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”
A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.
I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”
The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….
Men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. This is not a radical concept, and yet apparently it is. Thanks to the magic of technology, it’s literally effortless to look up the definition of “feminism” and learn about it. It is literally effortless to educate oneself about gender equality … In 2014, if you’re still confused about what Feminism is, you’re deliberately not learning. You’re deliberately choosing to remain uneducated and oblivious. You are actively choosing to be an asshole.
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